Resilience does not start with an ‘F’

(1 minute 30 seconds read)

“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”

Maya Angelou

So as recently as just the other day, I lost my footing in my world. For the simple reason that someone pulled the rug from underneath my feet.

And as it happened, that person is someone as close as family.

Now firstly, let me just get clear on one very important point: this is not a blaming and shaming – he-said-she-said event. But rather, a most significant and insightful experience.


Emotions are the 3 Wise Men  

There is always a gift in the camel bag.

As I was sitting on the bare floor after being bumped off the rug, I felt a bit numb.

And then.

I became angry.

Yes – you know the spiel – the ‘how could he? – how dare he?’ – type of imaginary dialogue.

But just before I resorted to the Four ‘F’s –

  • fuck it
  • fight it
  • forget it
  • force it

I did something so extraordinary that even I had to take notice.

I started having a chat with my anger.

A proper chat.

Hello anger.  How are you. I see you have come to visit me – rather unexpectedly I might add. Fancy a cup of tea? No – ok then, you can come straight to the point then….


After a lengthy chat

Anger departed.

And what was I left with?

I was left with the knowing that I had slowly fallen into a slumber.

Of not being awake, alert to my Heart’s voice, my Soul’s yearnings.

I had been sleep walking in other people’s dreams.

I had become fat on fear.

And I had doubted my inner resilience in this game of Life.


As JK Rowling said:

“Rock bottom became the solid foundation in which I rebuilt my life.”


Rock bottom.

Don’t let that reduce you.

Anger is the fire for creativity – so instead of reacting and losing the energy that anger holds – have a chat. and then, you can see beyond the steam, obscuring what is right in front of you.

That camel bearing the wise man and his gifs.

And you will know.

ALL you need to know.

To rise into the fullness of you.

Resilience is the one that takes you by the hand and whispers:

you can turn this around

you can rise like the Phoenix

you can be self-reliant

you can be

for the simple reason that you have arrived,






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