‘you deserve to be
in your surroundings
not lost within them’
rupi kaur / milk and honey
Almost like Mantras, they silently influence our responses, decisions and actually, our happiness.
The thing is – somewhere along the script of our lives, we may equate transparency with authenticity.
The Mistake I Made
There were times in my life when I thought myself pretty awesome for being transparent.
I would be as open, honest, vulnerable as I could be – because I believed I was being authentic.
The difference I only understood years later. After many heartbreaks, dark nights and emotional load shedding.
What showed up in the periphery of my conscious mind, was this truth:
just because I am transparent does not mean
the world – and its people – will bow to my bidding.
I was, needless to say, highly disappointed.
How Yoga taught me the Difference
This whole ‘transparency thing’ began to irritate me as I still didn’t get it.
There I was, showing up.
Fully committed to unravelling mySelf. And ready to eat soup with a fork.
And as it always happens – as soon as one is so fed-up with not knowing – the Universe moves in its grandest way.
Suddenly I found myself on a 20 hour flight and just as suddenly, in a yoga class filled with ex-pats and locals.
Now for someone who has lived the greatest part of adult life in a country that has less people (officially) than Mongolia – and Mongolia, population wise, is right up there with Antarctica – it was a totally new experience.
As the days morphed into weeks, and I adapted to my new environment – I realised something very important.
Just because people do Yoga, does not make them authentic.
But not authentic.
For Authenticity is knowing one’s Enoughness.
- Nothing to show.
- Nothing to prove.
- Nothing to do.
Only to Be. Wherever. Whatever. Whoever. Fully Present.
Despite the ability to hook a foot around one’s head – Authenticity is not a skill.
Doing Yoga in a Wetsuit
Transparency, without authenticity, is doing yoga in a wetsuit.
It is still good for you.
It is exhausting.
It takes a lot of energy to constantly try and be.
To constantly hold onto ourselves.
In the words of Lao Tzu –
‘When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be’
Lost within my own surroundings, I left.
Only to return, to be found.
Breathing through my own skin.